I'm going back to Cali...and thanks to my job, permanently!! I applied for a new position within my present company and got the job; however, it requires me to transfer to our California office. I've been wanting to leave Dallas for a few years now and finally have the opportunity.

I am extremely excited and equally nervous, anxious, frustrated, happy...I'm not really sure how to feel at this point. It's been a rollercoaster the last couple of weeks. The apartment search is the WORST!!! It hasn't been as simple as I thought, but I have my final choices narrowed to three possibles...I think.

New job, new city, new state, new time zone, new people, new residence - I'm ready to begin this new chapter of my life. I'll be closer to my SO who already lives in L.A. It seems that he's more ecstatic about this new change than I am. I suppose it's b/c he's tired of flying to see me.

I'm selling all of my furniture on craigslist - most of it's almost gone - and I'm making the move with nothing but money in the bank and clothes in my trunk. When I say fresh start, I mean just that.

The drive is about 25 hrs and my best friend will accompany me on the move to help me get settled in. We'll make a road trip out of it spending the night in Albuquerque, NM and the second night in Flagstaff, AZ. Yup, we're gonna stop off at the Grand Canyon, where neither of us have ever been. Can't wait!!

I am in such a rush writing this as is probably evident. 'Til next time, wish me luck and please keep me in your prayers for a safe journey.

Later Folks!

It seems that a heart can be broken a million times. The tragedy of it remains that each time it hurts just as much as the last, just as much as the first. How is it that we continue to welcome love into our lives despite knowing the outcome? I ask myself this every time. For a while, though, I was successful at avoiding it. I made it a priority to live without it...then, I forgot about the pain and what it felt like to be inadequate to someone of emotional importance. It's always fun while it lasts but eyes eventually tend to wander, the grass in the distance becomes greener, glitter somehow takes on the value of the purest of gold, so on and so forth. BLAH BLAH BLAH who gives a sh!t? It happens. *sigh* I have some major thinking to do. Who knows? I may have just been over-reacting. My dad, a very wise man, firmly believes that all important decisions should be made with a clear conscious and when anger and resentment are not an influence...we shall have to see!

 

Hope that everyone has had a wonderful start to this new year. It is a blessing that we are alive to see it. Mine has actually begun pretty fan-fukking-tastic!! Seriously.

 

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I'm sure you've read the reviews and word of mouth has reached your ears of this masterpiece!! 3D is the only way to see it if you haven't already...Yeah, it was AWESOME!!!

I am exceptionally hungry for change and particularly dissatisfied with the route I have chosen to achieve gratification. It is complicated figuring out what to do with an existence filled with possibilities that are almost infinite. There is so much promise in the world and a person with such potential normally would not have such difficulty deciding a path to self-reassurance; yet, as time moves forward and the future rapidly shifts into the present and becomes the past, my appetite for more increases at a disquieting rate. I ravenously seek knowledge, new people, culture, beauty, and above all else, contentment. The Earth envelops countless things to be experienced. To continue as I am, to be comfortable in this condition, is the most dreary of thoughts to be had. For so long, dread of the unknown is what kept my mentality in a state of ease and justified a need for normality. Now, fear is an unwarrantable excuse and the sole impediment of the sense of fulfillment that is ambitiously being pursued. The spice of life that I have subjected myself to has been proven averagely bland, and, I reckon, perhaps it is time to disregard apprehension of the unfamiliar and nourish the yearnings within. I am starved for something extraordinary. It is as though a famine has taken place in my mind. I desperately need to venture out; my enthusiasm depends on it.
 
Give me a few months to make adjustments.
 
 
 
 
I almost forgot about this site…they finally blocked it at my job. *smdh*
 
 
 
I went to Los Angeles with my boyfriend on July 4 weekend (oh yea, I have one of those now. Don’t think I’ve blogged about A.J. before…we’ve been together since April/May.). It was awesome. I have pix but I will post them when I have more time. He is actually the reason I’ve been thinking so much lately about my future. I think for the most part I’ve made up my mind and will move to Cali if we are still together come 2010. For so long I’ve been afraid to commit and I’ve put off starting a family of my own; now, I feel like I’m watching life instead of living it. The realization is helping me to put things into perspective. Maybe in a couple of yrs, AJ and I might mot to his native Thailand where most of his family is. We’ve talked about it…who knows. All I’m certain of is that I want to see the world and I want a family and we’re taking one step at a time. First things first, make it to 2010!! Haha.
 
Photos coming soon. I’m out!!

I'm still here. Just have so much going on right now that I haven't had time to xanga. I'm sorting through some things and making quite a few changes, one of which includes moving out of my townhome in N. Dallas to an apt near Carrollton. I've encountered a potentially dangerous situation and have no other choice. It makes me sad though. I've lived in the same place for seven years and have invested a lot of time and money into making it my home. Now, I have to rent or sell it. *smh*

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On 2/23 my car was broken into. They ransacked my glove compartment, took my fave Mavs jacket out of my trunk, and stole my cd's from the center console. Technically the only thing of value was the jacket because the stack of about 30 cd's were all burned copies (except Sheryl Crow's Greatest Hits that I'd recently purchased...and LOVED). This person was either really desperate or a crackhead or BOTH. I had some pennies that had been accumulating at the bottom of the console. By this time, there was possibly about .65 worth. Do you know this a$$hole scraped the bottom of the console and took all but 7 of those pennies?  My window was not broken so the person(s) clearly used a jimmy or some other device to get in and out. All I could think was, " A crackhead w/ a jimmy!! Bad combination!"

2/28 my car was broken into AGAIN.  Twice in the same week, are you serious?! This time my window was busted out but what made me more p!ssed off was there was nothing that could be taken! It was a complete and total waste of their time and my money. At first I was angry thinking son of a B!TCH must PAY!!!  Then I cried. My neighbors said they'd been having the same problem. Upon hearing that, I became a little afraid. So I go to check my mailbox which is conjoined w/ the wash room. As I'm leaving the room with my magazines and letters, I glance over towards the washers and dryers and I'll be d@mned if they weren't ALL pried open so that someone could steal the change out of them! I've never seen anything like that in my life. It was like the room was used for a scene in the Incredible Hulk, and BOY was he mad!! As I walked out of the room I realized the locks on the door hadn't been tampered with (a key is required to get into that building) which means its a RESIDENT!! It was at this moment that I became so frightened that on the spot I decided to move. My thought process was that if they were breaking into cars freely and into the wash room, pretty soon homes will be next. I'm only 5'3" 135lbs. I live alone and have no gun (but I guarantee I will be getting one soon) and although I can fight, what damage can I do to a man three times my size, honestly?

So I am thinking about my safety rather than my material possessions. I've been staying at my sister's waaaaaay out in Wylie since then and my apt will be ready on April 1. Now I have mtg AND rent to pay for a while (luckily I had a nice stash saved for a rainy day).

In better news, I'm getting excited about the move. (Actually, the anxiety is bugging the h3ll out of me.) It's like a fresh new start and I'm trying to embrace it with enthusiasm so I've been searching for little knick knack stuff to decorate. Of course all of this is done online b/c I despise shopping w/ a passion. I wish I had a personal shopper to do all of the work for me. I've already boxed up my most prized possession - my dvd collection. I didn't want to take the chance of someone stealing those. My sister thought it was hilarious b/c I still haven't gotten my tv's or clothes or game systems from the house. If you really want to see my bad side, the best way is to f*ck w/ my movies. I never realized how many I actually had until now; it took three large storage boxes to get them all packaged away.

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Travel news:

My parents asked demanded me to fly home for Easter. I could never disobey them, but I can't make it until the following weekend b/c of all of this moving bullsh!t. My other traveling siblings decided to cut me some slack and everyone decided to meet up at my convenience the weekend of the 17th which is the week after Easter. YAY! It will be the first time in years that my entire immediate family will be together all at one time.

With my trip to Vegas postponed until the fall for various and obvious reasons (such as the move, HEAT, Easter vacation, etc.), I decided I still need a real vacation so I'm meeting my older sis and her two kids (they all recently moved to Virginia) in Orlando Memorial day WEEK for a Disney fun vacation. The plane tickets and hopper passes have already been purchased and I'm ecstatic. I havent' been to Disney World in 15 yrs and I'm going to act like a straight 27yr old KID.

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You know I couldn't leave without adding the latest reviews. I try not to divulge too much info on these b/c I don't want to ruin it for anyone who may have not yet seen them:

This one was pretty funny. The cast was great although my only regret was that comediens Bobby Lee and Dr. Ken didn't have larger and funnier roles. These guys are quite amusing in their stand-up routines and I expected a bit much from them in this movie, much to my dismay. It was also a tad more violent than I expected, which was great.  James Franco was sexy as usual but in a dirty, base-head sorta way. Overall, I liked it.

 

Now this was pretty freaky. Who'da thought mirrors could commit such outlandish and gory acts? I watched it late one night in the dark, had to pee when it was over, and was slightly hesitant to go to the restroom for fear of what my reflection might do to me.  Not really, but I'm sure it had that affect on others. It had its VERY slow moments but I thought the way it ended was BALLER!! Not Keifer Sutherland or Paula Patton's best roles but it wasn't a total sham.

 

 I GOTTA add this to my collection along w/ all of the other Seth Rogen films (including the one mentioned above). This guy is almost on Will Ferrell status w/ him coming in behind Will merely b/c he hasn't been around as long. Seth is immature, has a dirty mind and makes the funniest d!ckhead comments, but I love him anyway. His co-star, Elizabeth Banks, has never been one of my favorites but my-my she did an exceptionally good job with this one. Jason Mewes (Clerks II and Jay and Silent Bob) was his perverted normal self, but this time with a make-over. Yes, terrific cast; but back to the motion picture. Under NO circumstances are you to allow your mother or your children watch this movie as it is not family friendly at all. Is it b/c of the harsh language or the $3X scenes? Probably both! Hence the title, this is an ADULT film...but an uproariously comical one.

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I'm out!! Peace and blessings people. Peace and blessings.

I went home this past weekend and normally when I travel I blog about what happened and post pictures. I have been hesitant to write about this trip because the portion of the weekend that should have been the most fun was actually the worse part. It rained the majority of the weekend and stopped only enough for the two Mardi Gras parades I went to on Sunday (not like the rain would have caused a cancellation of MG...even Hurricane Katrina couldnt). Mardi Gras is fun, no lie. You see a lot of weird and crazy things. I had not been to a parade in almost twelve years and this year with racial tensions so high, MG was a complete disappointment for me:

The Krewes are STILL segregated. Remember I said I went to two parades on Sunday? Well, first there was the "white" parade, and the "black" parade followed approx. 2 hrs later. Literally, that is what they're called. There is not a single person of the other race in either of those parades. There was one float in particular with a very disrespectful krewe. Picture this: the crowd is a mixture of people of different races and shapes and sizes all just having a good time, trying to catch the best stuff. Well this particular krewe was singling out the white people in the crowd and handing them the items; they were also chucking mounds of beads at the black people in the street. Seriously, they were throwing to HURT, heaving cups and beads and other solid items as if they were in a diamond trying to get a 95mph pitch over the plate. I was out there with my sister and three of my brothers, one of whom had his wife and three small children along. My brother was holding his 1 & 1/2 yr old son, Jeremiah, the majority of the parade but wanted to get him a football towards the end. So he puts Miah down and as soon as he stands up straight, SMACK...and BAG full of beads is hurled into his shoulder. He looks up to the float and made eye contact w/ the guy who did it. This dude looks at my brother and points and LAUGHS and calls his friend over (his friend was on the other side of the float) who also bursts into laughter as well. Then the friend lobs another bag of beads right into the chest of another dude a few feet from us. They are just rolling with amusement at this point. Then they each take a stuffed animal and place them in the hands of a man and his daughter (I dont think I need to say what race they were).

Next, one of the pageant trucks passed. These trucks consist of debutantes and little girls that have entered and won pageants all over the state. The women and girls are all dressed up in formal wear and have on their make-up and crowns and sashes and wave to the crowd and hand out flowers and pearls. On this particular truck was a little girl, couldn't be more than 6 years old, handing out pink plastic roses. I was holding my two yr old niece and she asked me to get her a flower so I walked up to the truck and the little girl holds the rose towards me. Her mother (who was sitting across from her) tells her, "NO, don't give that to her, give it to your OWN kind." Immediately the little girl snatches the rose back and looks away from me...and the truck continues to roll on by. After I picked my bottom jaw up from the concrete, I turned around to see everyone behind me in a complete state of rage and disgust. It was the most embarrassing, humiliating, and hurtful experience I've had in about ten years. I haven't felt that way since I left Thibodaux after graduation.

Since I have moved away from there and been able to meet so many different people from different walks of life, I have been able to grow and mature from a hateful mentality. I have grown to learn to love people regardless of stature, race, religion, and lifestyle. I've learned to accept people for who they are. I am not a product of the negative environment that I was subject to. I am actually proud of myself for calming down the crowd of people behind me when the little girl insulted me the other day. I was glad that my brother respects my opinion enough to just shake off the dude purposely busting him in the shoulder with the cluster of beads. If that would have been me ten years ago, I'da snatched that whole bouquet out of that little girl's hand and I probably would have let the crowd mob and throw stuff back at those guys on that float.

I'm glad I've changed. I'm glad I got away. I am most proud that so many people are not quite so full of bigotry any more. But what really gets under my skin is when people try to pretend that this country does not have a race problem. I get angry when people turn a blind eye in hopes that it will just go away or disappear. I truly get offended when people try to tell me that I should just forget and move on. The best way to fix a problem is to face it head on and if we simply cover it up as if it never happened the wound will remain sore and fester and get infected and then we'll have a much bigger problem on our hands. I would like to sit here and say that the country is changing but in some places, it's NOT!!

Despite how hectic my schedule sometimes becomes, I still try to be as flexible as possible w/ my second/part-time job. This is mainly due to the fact that I have been and will continue to be traveling quite a bit and never know when I will need someone to cover for me. Of course, when I take my trips, I SCHEDULE off so as to not have the problem of needing to call in.

Lately, a couple of the girls there have been asking me to take their shifts quite a bit. I was supposed to be off Friday night and Saturday night, only to work during the day on Sunday. Obviously my manager was trying to give me a break since I work seven days a week, sometimes 13 hour days (factoring in my regular gig). Yesterday (Thursday) afternoon Kirsten calls and asks that I cover two hours of her shift tonight. She explained the reason, and it was legit so I agreed to help her out. No big deal. Not even an hour later, Kim (Yes I'm using real names b/c I don't give a F*CK!) calls and asks if I could cover her 1pm-6:15pm shift on Saturday so she could go out of town w/ her boyfriend. Aight, cool. I'll do it since I'm off Friday through Monday next week from both jobs.

I've been house-sitting/babysitting all week for a friend that needed to go out of town. My dog is at home alone all day and I can't and won't NOT check on him. He's my baby. Thursday night I knew I was getting off really late so I got the bright idea that maybe instead of going home after work to check on Coffe, I can stop over at the crib between jobs (round 5:30ish) since I only live 15 min away.  So I call Kim to explain the situation and ask if she could work an extra 30 min for me so I can take care of that little bit of business, after all, it's only a half hour versus the 5 hours I'm making up for her. This sorry a$$ trollop says NO and asks why I can't take care of Coffe when I get off that night. Then proceeds to talking w/ a fake HOARSE voice as if she is sick and really needs to go home. I cussed her out in four different languages in my head, but I kept my cool and said, "aight then, don't worry about it. I'll be there at 5."

It was an attempt to get some rest on my part. Getting home late last night was not a huge deal to me before because I knew I would make up for it by sleeping in on Saturday. Since I took the extra shift, I knew I would be exhausted. I'm doing her a favor so she can go galavanting around but she pulled the "sick" card on me. Little did she know, my head was SMOKING!!!! I wanted to be dirty and not show up on Saturday, thus getting her in a world of doo-doo but I'm better than that and a woman of my word. Besides, she will mos def need me again. I GUARANTEE, I will never take her shift ever again. And that's on everything.

People wonder why I'm picky about who I kick it w/ and have an extremely exclusive set of friends that I take care of and vice versa. I can't stand it when folks try to misuse and abuse my kindness. It's the easiest way to get CUT-OFF!!   B!tch.